Confessions Of A Wallflower: Book One, Chapter Two (snippet)

This night brings me to overlook the sleepy town we have migrated to. Arched rooftops molest the midnight blue sky illuminating at twelve. Nothing is as it seems, not even the sparkling stars desperate to dazzle the whites of my eyes.

Blue fingers cold on my own skin. My hoodie pulled tight. I fold up my knees under my chin. Why did Lorraine do it? I miss her face, her laugh, her indirect sisterhood. My best friend is no longer my shadow and I am no longer hers.

All that is left is a merrier photo; corners ruffled, smiling faces; no more. A prettied dresser; stickers covering the desk, scratched, corners lifting. My name, Lorraine’s name in coloured markers. Faded. My reflection is an infection. The mirror says I have the whole world ahead of me, I will be successful in whatever I chose to do with it; even telling me I am beautiful in my oversized t-shirt. I don’t believe it. My sleeves are torn and used. I’m not beautiful and that is how I will stay.

“Samantha? It’s almost midnight. First day of school tomorrow.” My father shyly stands in the doorway. Posters on the walls, a reminiscence of his youth. Rehabbing the thought of abandonment for one night, I retire to the comfort of my bed, saving the footnote for my own private farewell ceremony.

My eyes close.

Confessions Of A Wallflower: Book One (intro snippet)

Chapter One


I will never forget how she looked that day. The sun was shining through her brown long hair, loose by her side, dancing happily in the icy air that strangled this particular morning.
I found it odd she was wearing her prettiest dress in the middle of January. It was a summer dress made from yellow cotton. I had only seen it on special occasions. In a weird way, this is how she was celebrating a special occasion.

As I stood numb to any part of my body, the creaks of the rope noose rubbing against the tree branch infested my ears and the silence surrounding us. Lorraine’s lifeless body dangled somewhat peacefully as I searched for any sign of life. Her once magnetic green eyes that used to face me during staring contests in the fourth grade, now closed; her chipped painted finger nails that will never touch her grandmother’s piano keys; her ability to make me smile when I cannot- gone from the world I have known for the past fourteen years.

Lorraine was a happy person. She was my best friend, and I knew her better than anyone else. Or so I thought.

little update

I am working on new postings and such because it's been a while and this blog is starting to feel like a neglected child I'm sure.

I am using my writing talents at work, writing a few blog entries for them whch has been awesome and I have many more ideas for entries - I just need to get cracking on them.

My twitter is: www.twitter.com/bexwhiting

another blog I write on: http://www.wallflowerinthecorner.blogspot.com/
(I wil turn that into a book soon, or maybe just keep it the way it is, I havent decided just yet)

my aol: raranarablonde

B.

I Might

I might be able to wake knowing you are by my side
I might be able to feel alive if you looked into my eyes
I might be able to breathe knowing you are my lifeline

I might be able to get on with the day if I were numb
I might be able to see the sun behind the grey cloud and not succumb
I might find my feet and not have my laces undone

I might not be that lucky and be Miss Cloud 9
I might not have you for mine
I might not ever hear the words handsome and baby doll in the same line
I'll wait even if a toll is taken upon time.

Waiting Line

standing in line
ripped ticket could be fine
but im not

wanting the sun to shine
wheres the cloud with the silver line
its a long shot

seems im always in this place
the music to face
i have nothing left

follow the path race
a hollow soul to trace
lost upon the bend

leave my heart on the floor
as you walk out the door
now where are you sent?

one ticket to the show on the shore
hooked by your lure
this waiting line has went.

Honey

You're awake
I'm alive
Fix dinner, it's at five.

I wish it were that simple
With you it is
You're my last kiss.

This is the only place I want to be
This is the only thing I want to feel
You are the only thing I want to breathe
You are the only thing I can believe.

Best Sunday dress
On a Saturday afternoon
The flowers in bloom

Is this what happiness is?
My heart did benefit
Got me out of this deficit.

This is why I no longer hide
This is why I no longer lie
You are the reason I no longer have a thorn in my side
You are the reason I have no divide.

Sand In My New Mary- Jane's

Why don't you sit beside me and hold my hand?
We could go play in the sand
Watch the birds fly over out heads
As the day comes to an end.

Push me on the swing in the park
Take your turn before dark
Race me across the grass
With you I never come last.

Surprise me with a picked flower
Right before we're caught in an April shower
Run for cover, footprints left on the ground
You are proof that my life is a sound.

Dry off from the downpour
Take off shoes at the door
Rain slides down the window pane
Sand spills from my new Mary-Jane's.

smile, you're alive so quit whining

I will update as soon as I have something great to put down here. reading through all of these posts again really makes me think about what I was thinking when I wrote them. where I was when I wrote them (airports, buses, coffee shops, christmas day, the beach, the bathroom to name a few). Quite interesting to remember these things.

B.

seven things I like about you

I like your eyes
I like your smile
I like your voice
I like how you go the extra mile
for me

I like your laugh
I like your music
I like that you think I'm perfect.

Morning

Open my eyes
breathe out the li(f)e
button jeans
fit at the seams

reflection rejection
yesterday's injection
my baby blues
look right through

step down one by one
nowhere to run
anchor the bottom
forgiven not forgotten

all will clear and make sense
life for rent
you love my sins
you against my skin

Right Here, Right now

I never want to leave the place youve created in my head.
sitting on the grass under the stars. warm breath on the chilly air.
The world stops spinning. I start living.

The Girl With The Thorn In Her Side

I stained my jeans again trying to get to the other side

Cue the second act but I’m stuck on the first line.

It’s a fight and you’re ready for the next round.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, I fall to the ground.

Get back up, back to the start to where it all unfazed.

Under the stars, under the night sky, a promise unmade.

The last kiss stings as much as the first

I’ll make my own hearse.

whatdoyouthinkithinkofyouandyourcontroloverme?

actually, you're pissing me off.
i hate you. and i dont like you.


my addiction * costs me at least $15 a day. Not cool. You suck.



*starbucks.

un valentines day(s)

I see the life in your eyes that was once there
Kissing in the rain will never be the same
The game is not fun anymore
The photograph is all ruined by the fingerprints I left behind
Coffee stain and torn edges
take this memory, thanks for the memory
I'll rewind back to before there was (i love) you(s)

It's been a while with so few words

Almost two years without a whisper? I shall surely be correcting that real quick. I am writing alot and striving towards finishing a draft of my screenplay I can set out into the world. I live in a fantastic city with lots of creative inspiration and I am much better writing things down into dialogue and fleshed characters rather than one liners and ramblings floating around in becky space. I miss this.

Here's an icebreaker:

25 Random Things About Me

1. I owned a Pink Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle skateboard when I was 11.
2. My favourite candy is Malteasers.
3. I live in leggings/jeans. depending on the day.
4. I won 2 medals for Baton Twirling when I was 13.
5. I am huge Spice Girls Fan.
6. I kept newspapers from Princess Diana's funeral.
7. I have never tried smoking. (and never will)
8. I have a fear of heights, sharks & underwater. You couldn't pay me enough money to go to sea world. I get nervous at petland and the fish tanks. ( I'll thank steven spielberg when I meet him)
9. I am slowly getting over my fear of spiders.
10. I love period movies- especially horrors that are set in that time.
11. I believe in ghosts.
12. I believe in aliens.
13. I believe we are all doing the best we know how.
14. I love photography- specifically black & whites.
15. My favourite actor & actress is Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.
16. I am addicted to the colour pink.
17. My favourite drink is the Cinnamon Dolce Latte at Starbucks.
18. My initals are RAW.
19. My parent are my heroes.
20. I am not into sports.
21. I took easy classes in High School. I'm an artist, I don't need to take physics.
22. I hate cell phones, yet I gave in and bought one.
23. I wanted to be an actress.
24. I can't draw.
25. I can count on one hand the people who actually know me and I would trust with my life.

B